Clearly, I’ve been on a “blogging break” for a while (aka: the entire month of March). Some of it was just happenstance (as in: I’ve been swamped at work and can’t write over lunch, or I’ve been overwhelmed at home with dog-drama [story for another day] and I’m just too exhausted to write at the end of the day).
But, most of my blogging hiatus has been self-imposed because (honestly) I just haven’t felt like I’ve had anything worthy to share.
I started the blog (in earnest) a year ago when I was still crawling my way out of a dark depression – the catalyst of which was the death of my Grammie a year earlier – but, actually, the depression had been gnawing at me on and off for the better part of a decade. I saw blogging as a way to write through my emotions while simultaneously attempting to sharpen my skills, develop my voice, and strengthen my internet-footprint as I grow in my career.
A few months ago, I started having mixed feelings about my little plan. I began to wonder what the point was to all of this: the hits that wordpress tracks on my blog sometimes make me think “who the heck is reading this? Who is looking at pictures of my bathroom?” I sometimes ponder if I’m over-sharing – and if I’m really writing honestly, or if I’m still trying as hard to be perfect as I did in high school.
Then, this week a lot of really poignant, interesting posts have been popping up in my news feed. Like this from Relevant Magazine. And this from my favorite foodie and new-mommy blogger, Lo. And this sweet gem from my renewed friend, Becca.
Thanks to the internet (and more specifically social media & blogs) I now know:
- how to bake better,
- cook more creatively,
- create the perfect smokey-eye look for day time use.
- I can stay connected with family and friends no matter how far away they roam,
- I can even make new friends that I’ve never even met in person.
- I can poll my news feed instantaneously for tips and tricks on how to teach my dog that I’m the alpha,
- and I can hear about breaking news before the TV ever tells me what’s happening.
The internet is amazing.
Because of the internet, I also know:
- that if I pose in a picture I better have my hand strategically positioned on my hip to create the most flattering figure,
- and it better be posted through the “sierra” filter because that’s what hides my acne the best.
- I also know that I will never make enough money to afford the beautiful furnishings I see in many of my friends homes, let alone ever be able to be a stay at home mom.
- I’m reminded ever day that despite my best efforts, I’m not pregnant… not a mom.
- And it’s probably because I don’t do crossfit or eat paleo.
- I’m reminded every day how much I miss my friends and wish that I had friends that lived closer.
- I’m bombarded with messages that tell me if I support (or oppose) the 2nd amendment I’m evil (either way),
- and if I change my profile picture I’m a heretic (or if I don’t change it I’m a bigot).
- I get ton’s of likes on funny posts or pretty pictures I’ve painstaking positioned and edited of food or my dog,
- and I get a little let down if I log into facebook and I don’t have a new red dot in the upper left-hand corner to let me know someone, somewhere has validated something I’ve overshared about my life.
The internet is Dante’s Inferno playing out in real-time.
So, I’ve questioned what the purpose of the blog should be a lot lately. Am I trying to fit some mold that I’m not even sure I want to fit? Am I sharing too much for the stalkers and trolls? Maybe someone out there is feeling the same way I am and needs to see what I’ve written? Maybe that someone is me?
Lesson learned: I’m not sure what the future is of this blog, but I do know it’s far from perfect.